No doesn't mean YES

I was having a conversation with one of my my childhood friends, he's a guy and of course the subject of women came up. He's desiring to honor women in a new way, to honor women in the way that God desires a man to honor a woman and not just in a relationship, but every woman he comes in contact with. Very admirable goal to set especially because our generation (Some of us 90's babies) seems to be more or less focused on getting the BADDEST, dopest, girl that'll come with them. 

But something he said during the conversation completely caught my attention, forcing me to make him stop right there and elaborate. He said " these females make it hard for a man to keep this goal because when you tell them no they think its a yes" . Ladies: WHY do we do this?? I cant lie and say I haven't been there, I've heard God say no in a situation, or wait or stop and ignored His guidance and went ahead and turned all that into MY "yes". 

Our "yes" when its God's "No" or "Wait" can quickly turn into our regret, our guilt, our hurt. God honors Obedience, He talks about His love for obedience more times than I can count in the Bible, enough for me to start to look at the reasons why God is so adamant about Obedience. I know that the obvious answer is He knows whats best for us and there is a certain way to live when you're a child of God which is all very true and should be enough of a reason to be obedient, but I wanted more. To be honest I had the desire to know more but does that mean I went and looked for the reasons why?? NOPE!! I half stepped it. There's so many questions that I have/had that are clearly answered in God's Word. Wanna know how i found one of my favorite verses on why i should be obedient?? Well.......

I WAS DISOBEDIENT IN SITUATIONS AND GOT HURT...a lot! During all this hurt I didn't want to turn away from God and "handle it myself" by being introverted, and acting like I was "ok" and nothing is bothering me,  like I normally would, I wanted a deeper relationship with Him and I can sense that He was calling me to have a deeper connection with Him too. So I thought, I'll look up some Psalms for encouragement , I Turn to Psalm 1:1-3 and what do i find? 

-Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers. But whose delight is in the law of the Lord and who meditates on His law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither, whatever they do prospers. 

This passage tells us that being obedient brings about blessings, prosperity and fruit in every season of our lives (yes their IS fruit in every season of your life even if you feel like nothing is happening, there is something to be gained)

Who doesn't want to be blessed, or prosper or get their fruit in every season of their lives and not miss out on what God has for them?? I don't think anyone would volunteer for the opposite of that. So where does that leave us? It leaves us with a CHOICE on obedience or "doing it my way".

In the case of women, we have a lot of power that we don't know we have, (some of us do and abuse it). *Seducing a man into loving you is a lie*. When it's a "No" that is not a green light into figuring out a way into making his mind change or for the circumstance to be different  Not only does it put you in the position of being hurt, it puts him in a position to fall into temptation and ultimately sin. There is a man for every women....the PERFECT man just for you but you have to realize and accept that not everyone who comes your way is the one and not every "potential" is your job to fix into making him the one (I'll save that for another blog). 

There is a desperation, and insecurity that comes with forcing a situation into a "yes". If it's forced or prematurely started, its not right and is a sign that you're not ready. You should be completely satisfied in God, and when I say completely, I'm not talking about Him just satisfying you, because you have all your bills paid and you and Him are "cool", I'm talkin about He satisfies you in such a deep way that you're not desperate for love or intimacy in other people.

Ladies: Jesus can, is fully capable and WILL be the perfect man you're looking for, He's your Yes and even after and during courting, dating, marriage, kids, grand kids and the whole bunch, He'll always be the right fit for you, the perfect Yes, and while He's being your perfect yes He'll be at work making YOU into the perfect fit for the man He has just for you! 

Sincerly,
Gaelle . M. D