The Skill of Suppression

A skill is the ability to do something well, and suppression is:

                                        1)to inhibit (an impulse or action) consciously.
                                        2)to withhold from disclosure or publication 
                                        3)to vanquish or subdue quell; crush.
                                        4)to keep out of conscious awareness.

Suppression of emotions is a conscious denial of feelings (repression is an un conscious denial). When you suppress your emotions and ignore your feelings you choose not to deal with them. It's an unhealthy response to your emotions. 

To give you a back story, I had mastered the suppression of healthy "negative" emotions. What I mean by healthy "negative" emotions is that a negative emotion can be looked at as: sadness, anger, disappointment, fear etc and the reason I used the word "healthy" is because those emotions are normal to have (with balance). You cant go through life never feeling sad or angry, disappointed or scared. For me, it had started as a child, so growing up, doing just that, avoiding those emotions as much as I can, hiding those emotions from myself and others, and convincing myself that I didn't feel them, by the time I graduated high-school I had in fact mastered it. 

What makes it a bit more interesting is that after high-school, although I had felt like I mastered it emotionally, I had not mastered it physically. Meaning, there were times I could tell you that "I'm fine" and convinced myself that it was true, all the while my eyes would fill up with tears if you asked the question or my face would tell you the truth if I wasn't being careful to make sure it looked happy. 

Then there were times when I really wanted to talk about how I was feeling but felt like I didnt know how to start. Suppression can stunt your growth in communication. You can be 50 and still not know how to articulate how you feel like an adult, if you continue to run away from your feelings. 

In a more tangible way Suppression looks like: 

• I don't want to talk about it because I don't want to acknowledge it or face it. Maybe because if I express how I feel someone will judge me, or they wont get it and dismiss the emotion. 
• Using facades, not being transparent or letting anyone pass a certain point, very surface
• Holding on to past mistakes 
• Suffering by yourself because you don't really believe you can be set free, you have become accustomed to your reality that "this is just who I am".
• Can be critical, maybe to distract yourself from the things you need to address within yourself. (These are the people that need love the most)
• Indifferent: they force themselves not to care about the things that would other wise hurt them if they acknowledge it ** I did this one a lot**
• Likes being by themselves not because they enjoy it fully, but because they trust themselves the most, they don't allow anyone else but themselves to see their true emotions without judgement. Comfortable in their own darkness.
• Scared of confessing that they are really in fact sad, angry, disappointed because the facade that they have built showing everyone they they "have it all together" would be ruined.
• Desires peace but doesn't know how to attain it

I can honestly say that I have experienced and practiced all those characteristics of suppression. As I continue getting closer to the Lord, He becomes like a mirror, He shows you the things you may not want to see or even notice about yourself. Not to discourage you, but to help you acknowledge it so you can bring it to Him, lay it at His feet and allow Him to remove the deep rooted junk that's causing harm and no good. God has never said that we should cover up our emotions, He actually tells us to do the opposite, He tells us to be transparent, to confess, to acknowledge, to be real. So that His light can penetrate your darkness. Imagine for a minute that someone  suppressing they're emotions are like a room with no windows but when someone opens the door, Light floods the room and darkness ceases. 

Confession is healthy, it puts everyone on a level playing field because everyone has a past, a chapter of their lives they cringe if read out loud, a hurt. To be transparent rather than suppress is when healing begins. 

Be encouraged, with God there is ALWAYS a way, a way out of your darkness, out of that "stuck" feeling you may have, a way to regain the peace you've been searching for. It's always found in Jesus. All the good that you have been looking for is found in Him because He is the embodiment of good and all good flows from Him.

If you've ever read the book of Psalms in the Bible, King David was very transparent with God, he always went to Him to vent and acknowledge how he was feeling, whether is was because he was so joyful he couldn't contain it or so unhappy and afraid that he didn't know what to do. But even David try to suppress his feelings and his wrong doings at some point, he wrote down how it negatively impacted him and his relationship with God:

"When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. . . . Let everyone who is godly pray to You while You may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him" Psalm 32:3-6. 

David is not saying that God takes Himself out of our reach, he's saying if you look at circumstances as bigger than God, it won't take long for your emotions to overcome you. When suppressed emotions build up within you like "mighty waters," you won't turn to God, you'll be focused on your emotions and your emotions will be the one in control. It's important to open up to God while you can, because if you bottle up your feelings too long, it will disrupt the harmony of your relationship with Him. 

I believe we should go first to God about how we feel, in prayer. Be careful not to look at prayer as a duty, or job where you drag your feet to do it. Prayer is direct communication with God. God knows you better than anyone and He also loves you more than anyone. If you go to Him first with how you're feeling, He will not only give you a peace that surpasses understanding, He can speak to you, reassuring you, pouring out his love and instructions on what to do.

God will also bless you with godly people and friends around you that you can talk to. Don't forget to pray that God sends you godly friends and puts you in a church community that really honors God and reflects His love. I believe that Christians pray a lot for God to send them a godly man or woman to marry but maybe forget to pray about true godly friends. We should be as cautious, attentive, and prayerful picking our friends as we are picking our spouses, they both are relationships and commitments and they both can effect your life greatly.

Sharing our feelings with others is also helpful in managing emotions. The Christian life is not meant to be lived alone. God has given us the gift of other believers who can share our burdens and whose burdens we share. Heres a few verses of reassurance about that:

Romans 12 (whole chapter)

Galatians 6:1-10

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Hebrews 3:13

Ephesians 4:25-27 

James 5:16

Other men and women of God can also remind us of God’s truth and offer new perspective. When we're feeling discouraged or scared, we can benefit from the encouragement and reassurance that our friends in Christ can offer us. When we uplift others, we may become uplifted just like when we are happy, our happiness usually increases when we share it with others.

Jesus, is honestly our Hope and Strength.

Consistently reading life's guidebook (otherwise know as the Bible), listening to sound preaching (meaning preaching that is truly and completely coming from the Word of God), focusing on God and staying faithful to Him, and prayer. This is where healing comes from, this is where your life changes, it all starts and ends with God.

Love always.

Elle <3